I can honestly say that Jason and I have never been more married than we are today. True, we don’t speak to each other anymore, or risk direct eye contact, but I think that’s for the best. It’s this silent festering that allows us to appear so happily betrothed at parties and dinners. Balance and compromise is key. After several years of fighting back—yelling, raging, throwing, cursing, what have you—I’ve learned that I am the sole compromiser in this relationship. I am the one both creative and compassionate enough to lead a double life and maintain our blissful balance. That’s really the piece of the puzzle most couples are missing. They believe compromising requires a mutual negotiation and relinquishing of equal amounts of identity. This is a misconception.
The key to a happy coexistence is someone with the will to live a double life. Someone has to be versatile and energetic enough to separate their personal things from their married things, and strong-willed enough to make sure those things never meet. I am she, she is me, and my marriage exists in harmony.
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